Friday, September 23, 2011

the first day of Fall

Ron with his parents in England.

On this first day of Fall, 2011, I planned your service and wrote your obituary...

and I am really wondering how I can do this...

"Sometimes I feel like a sad song, like I am all alone without you." John Denver


kassi_espinoza said...

i wrote this letter for ron before he passed away, and then i added more to it after as well. i just thought i would share it with everyone so everyone would know what ron meant to me<3

kassi_espinoza said...


I don’t even know where to start. I love you so much and you know that you meant the world to me. I never had to tell you that, you were always there for me through thick and thin. No matter how mad I got at you, you would always make me get over it with that huge big smile of yours or sweet talking. You taught me everything I know about soccer . I used to love going to training with you because you would always tell me “ baby you’re my creation, your everything I want in a goalkeeper so you’re the only one who I can use to demonstrate things on. You know how I do things” haha. Ill never forget the day you told me I was the daughter you never had. That was such highlight in my life. Because I thought of you as a father . You were the only one who could clear my mind of everything before a big game. Even after I moved out of california, I would still call you before games just so I could hear you pep talk you always give me. Im so happy to say that every important moment I had in soccer, you were right there by my side. I remember that week I spent with you at your house when we had those week training camps. That had to be the best week ever, you made me beans and toast and homemade fish and chips. You educated me on led zeppelin and black Sabbath and the beatles. Haha

kassi_espinoza said...

my last training session I had with you was earlier this year and when we started it felt like I had never stopped training with you. I guess me and you just had that connection. You always talked me up to the younger girls so because of you I have had so many girls look up to me. You made me feel like I was the best. In your eyes I was. Remember when you were trying to teach me to do extension dives? Haha oh gosh I was so scared to diving over that punching bag! But you just told me “ baby you cant think about, you just have to dive.” after about a month or so of practicing that everyday, I finally got it down. And that ended up being my greatest strength in games. You always trained me so hard. I would always go home sore and all cut up from training at the duck pond. Even though that place smells horrible, that is my favorite place to do training sessions! I remember when I made athlete of the week in high school my freshman year, and they asked me a bunch of questions about things I like, and the last question was “ who is your role model, who do you look up as a person and a athlete?” and of course I said “ Ron Chell, he is my goalkeeper trainer, he taught me everything I know he is the best!” right after that interview I called you and told you that I said that! Oh gosh, I still remember like it was yesterday the first time you and paul came to watch me play before asking to be on your team, my team was playing bay oaks and my defender passed the ball back to me… and I totally wiffed the ball haha. Right after that happen I just thought “ well shit, there goes me being on their team!!” and you called me after the game and told me it didn’t matter cause I was still a good player and good players make mistakes, but you were going to make sure I never wiffed the ball again!! Haha.

kassi_espinoza said...

You always had faith in me. Not too long ago patricia called me asking if I would train your niece before a soccer tournament. And she said that “I was the only one who knew how to train like ron”, that right there made me so proud, but I broke down and cried because I still couldn’t accept that you were sick and there was nothing I could do to change it. I would have given anything to help you get better. I couldn’t imagine my life without you ron. If it wasn’t for you, I would not be the soccer player I am today let alone the person I am today. You have had such an effect on my life. You have a heart of gold that will never die. As much as I wanted to keep you here on earth, I know you were in pain and suffering. You will always have the biggest place in my heart. No one will ever be able to replace you. You meant the world to me, and you always will. I never got a chance to thank you for everything you have done for me. So thank you ron, thank you for believing I could do it, believing I was the best, thank you for making me the best player I could be, thank you for all the long hours of training, thank you for making me such a positive person, thank you for dealing with my bratty attitude when I got mad cause I was messing up, thank you for pushing me to the max when I thought I couldn’t do it, thank you for convincing paul to bring onto his team, but most of all I want to thank you for coming into my life and taking me under your wing, I truly don’t know where I would be right now or who I would be if I never would have met you. You have forever changed my life.
This quote always struck me, and made me think of you.
“ if you see me getting smaller, im leaving. don’t be grieving. Just gotta get away from here. If you see me getting smaller, don’t worry, I have the right to disappear.”

You now have a completely clean slate ron. Ill see you soon. I love you and miss you so much.

Love always and forever,